#REVIEW | Of mothers and daughters (Joy Luck Club)

Disclaimer: This was originally written last March 2020.

The first book I finished for 2020! I've been meaning to read this book ever since I found out that the book's film adaptation was the first American film to have an all Asian main cast. And it definitely did not disappoint. The book follows the different stories of four mother-daughter pairs. It navigates the differences between generations, which is mainly defined by their upbringings. The book is, ultimately, one of Chinese immigrants. But, I personally loved how it explored the relationships between mother & daughter. How, sometimes, pain is hereditary.

The pain of the flesh is nothing. The pain you must forget. Because sometimes that is the only way to remember what is in your bones. You must peel off your skin, and that of your mother, and her mother before her. Until there is nothing. No scar, no skin, no flesh.

As someone who grew up in a household full of women, I've realized how... complicated womanhood is. The book really emphasizes how connected the experiences can be between mother and daughter, even though we don't realize it, and how they shape us. 

I have watched her as though from another shore. And now I must tell her everything about my past. It is the only way to penetrate her skin and pull her to where she can be saved. 

Amy Tan writes the relationships in such a raw way, showing them all in their beautiful imperfection. 

My mother and I never really understood one another. We translated each other's meanings and I seemed to hear less than what was said, while my mother heard more.

One of my favorite things about the book is how the relationships between mother and daughter change as they age, as the daughters mature. Even though sometimes, they still don't fully understand each other, they learn to respect one another's differences. They start to see the other for what they couldn't be, but for who they are, and they learn to embrace that. 

And, at the end of the day, that's what family really is. You can't choose who they are, but you can choose to accept them.